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*A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking."
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
*A bum asked me "Give me $10 till payday." I asked "When's payday?"
He said "I don't know, you're the one who is working!"
*A bum came up to me saying "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!"
*She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
*Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
*Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
*I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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