In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window. ~Rodney Dangerfield
How to Photograph a Puppy
Remove film from box and load camera.
Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
Choose a suitable background for photo.
Mount camera on tripod and focus.
Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
Put cat outside and dab peroxide on your puppy's scratched nose.
Put magazines back on coffee table.
Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
Jump up in time to pick up puppy and say,
"No, outside! No, outside!"
Clean up mess.
Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "SIT" and "STAY" commands first thing in the morning.