"The average national price of a gallon of gas hit an all-time record high of $3.15 this week. Meaning that wherever you're going this summer, it might be cheaper to mail your car." ~Amy Poehler
"Oil has fallen to $60 a barrel. Experts predict it will continue to fall until exactly one minute after the polls close on November 7th." ~Jay Leno
"The Federal Trade Commission has ruled that oil companies are not gouging customers. They say, technically, they're just screwing customers." ~David Letterman
"Republicans in Congress are now demanding that President Bush investigate whether the oil companies are engaged in price gouging. Putting the White House in charge of investigating oil companies. That's like putting Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety." ~Jay Leno
"I was watching that movie Mad Max, you know that movie where gas is so precious that people are killing each other for a few gallons. It was set in the future -- I believe it was August." ~Jay Leno
"President Bush announced his new fitness plan to get people walking again. It's called, 'Gasoline at $4 a gallon.'" ~Jay Leno
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