Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Hair cutters don't rob you blind.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can still be friends.
Your underwear costs $10.00 for a three-pack.
If you are 36 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
Same work, more pay.
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - $75.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to take a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
Your pals never trap you with, "So, notice anything different?"
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut or bolt.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
A few belches are expected and tolerated.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th in 45 minutes