You might be a redneck if..
You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Your Senior Prom had a Daycare.
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
If going to the bathroom involves putting on shoes and grabbing a flashlight.
You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
There are two or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house
Yau check the bottom yer shoe for loose change
You've been on TV more than twice describing the sound of a tornado.
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You've ever put a six-pack in a casket right before they closed it
You buy your wife tube socks at the flea market.
Your kitchen doubles as a bait store.
You throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'
Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.