*I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.

•A moose is an animal with horns on the front of his head and a hunting
lodge wall on the back of it.

•A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

•Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

•All people are born alike -- except Republicans and Democrats.

•And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.

•Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever
done for me?

•Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me
more of you than you do!

•Bury me next to a straight man.

•Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy.

•Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

•From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was
convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

•Funny, I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down.

•Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

~Groucho Marx
Buckaroos Funny Pictures
Marx Brothers